In a world where extroverts thrive, it can be hard to an introvert. It’s a sad truth that we inhabit a world that for-the-most-part discourages introverted qualities, such as shyness, social anxiety, and social awkwardness. But, I want to make something clear: Though introversion has been deemed to be a negative quality within a person by society, I have found that though it does indeed have it’s negatives (like everything else), it does have many positives as well. If you see it from the eyes of the world you may find that those positives are hard to generate within your mind, but when introversion is seen through the eyes of an introvert you will start to see that it isn’t as bad as everyone makes it out to be.
First, I want to destroy any misconceptions you may have about introversion.
Introverts fear socialization. Though some introverts have a fear of socialization, like I do, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to being introverted. Not all introverts are shy, some are just drained by social situations and can’t endure them for long.
Introverts fear people. I am an introvert, but my career involves speaking to people nearly every second of the day. If I were scared, I wouldn’t get of bed everyday and go to work. I am, however, drained at the end of the day and can be compared to a socially lifeless zombie. Basically, it’s not a fear of people like many people think it to be. It is more of a social inhibition that occurs. We may not speak up, but it’s not because we are afraid of you.
Introverts are hermits. We work, go out, date, and have fun just like everyone else. Introversion doesn’t mean we want to permanently be in our own bubble. It just means that we occasionally need our space. Also, there is a misconception of what it means to be a hermit. Hermit crabs come out of their shell and so do introverts.
Now that those misconceptions are out of the way, you have a clearer idea of what it means to be an introvert. I also want to clarify that my experience with introversion hasn’t always been fine and dandy. I used to hate my introversion with a passion. It made me timid and frigid at times due to shyness. It has stopped me from pursuing some of my dreams. It has even stopped me from speaking up even when I wanted my voice to be heard. My face sometimes has trouble expressing emotion and half the time people don’t know what I am thinking (this occurs mainly when I am socially drained). And the world, sometimes when viewed from my eyes, is a very odd place that I’d like to stay out of from time to time. I’ve thought back to my past in order to figure out if there was a specific event that triggered my introversion and I started to realize that it was never really a choice for me, but rather something that was innately hard-wired into my brain. Being shy, for me, wasn’t caused by public ridicule or embarrassment, but rather some unknown reason that has no apparent origin. It’s hard to have a trait and have no whereabouts as to how it started, but maybe it’s best to just stop trying to understand why and just simply accept that it exists. Once I accepted the fact that I was an introverted person, I started to love that part of myself. I realized that I should use it to my advantage rather than let it destroy me. In order to do this, I took these negatives and turned them into positives. My introversion very quickly turned from a detrimental to a beneficial attribute.
Other than viewing my own world differently, I view the outside world differently as well. Introversion allows me to take off the rose covered glasses and see people for what they really are. For instance, when I see someone volunteer to take a photo of a group and then turn around to ask for a photo of their group in return, I don’t see people doing an unselfish good. They are doing something good to get something good in return. And though I don’t see that as a terrible thing because life is about give and take, I still find it hard to believe that people are not selfish at the core. Though some people may think it bleak, I see it as a positive attribute rather than a negative one. My introverted tendencies allow me to cut through the barriers that people put up to hide their intentions from the world. As an outside observer that doesn’t extrovertly insert myself into the crowd, I can see things from a different view that, though not pretty, is honest. Though it’s great to see the world in black and white terms, it does, however, suck the color out of life on occasion. This is perhaps the hardest part about being an introvert. Being shy is hard enough, but it’s even harder to not see people as more than their outward constituents. But, I’ve learned that people are usually more than what they are putting out into the world and if you take the time to figure that out then this issue can be overcame. But, regardless, I still prefer the honest world that I live in. I find it to be beautiful and pure.
Another benefit of my introversion, is that it keeps from running with the crowd. When I look at the world, I see a bunch of people running along with the majority, but introversion allows me to resist the pressure to run along with them. You’d think being an introverted individual would make you less capable of being your own person, but it does quite the opposite. I find that being introverted allows me to care less about what people think and allows me to be more than a social chameleon. Maybe it was because I didn’t hold social aspects of life highly on my list of priorities, maybe because extroversion relies heavily on being likable and I didn’t have the same outlook, but for whatever reason my introversion made me my own person, not a combination of others. I grew up listening to the music I wanted, wearing the clothes I wanted, and most of all being the person I wanted to be. From my eyes, the world is a place for originality and there is no time to be a sheep in the crowd (unless it’s a black sheep!). It’s a much beautifuler place to be part of, because it is a world where you can be fully accepted for who you are, not who people want you to be.
Last I want to talk about an introvert’s view on relationships. Yes, they are very capable of having them. As an introvert, I’ve always had to work harder at relationships, but it has never prevented me from having them. It has, however, changed my perspective on them completely. When you mix an introvert and an extrovert together it’s a no-brainer that quarrel will occasionally arise. Though I have a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend and I love him to death, the fact that I am an introvert can sometimes cause temporary rifts in our relationship. Not because we don’t love each other, but because we see the world differently in some ways. This happens in many relationships where one individual is more socially prone than the other. But, where you expect your partner to view the world from your eyes, you have to do the same for them as well. They may not understand and be a little unsympathetic sometimes, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t compromise with them. Compromise is the key when it comes to relationships. I will admit that I have had a hard time compromising in the past when I know certain situations will cause intense anxiety or I find myself emotionally and socially drained from a day at work, but you are part of this world and part of other people’s worlds and sometimes you have to take steps into other social bubbles than your own. So, yes from my eyes relationships are a lot of work that involves a lot of social compromise, but they are necessary and when you find the right person, you will find you have more social prowess in you than you once thought.
Introverts may not like group projects, may live in a figurative social hamster ball, and prefer to keep a close group of friends, but they aren’t incapable of living and most of all they are capable of thriving in this world. Though extroverts have more social prowess, they aren’t superior to introverts. From the world’s eyes introversion is generally considered to be a bad thing, but if we just take the time to look at it from a different view it becomes something more beautiful and positive.
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